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You run Father: What did you do today to help your mother? Son: I dried the dishes Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces. B: No, that was yesterday.
A: Why are all those people running? B: They are running a race to get a cup.
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A: Who will get the cup? B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running? Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks. Said to a railroad engineer: What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The reply from the railroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
Submitted by Kyle Jefferson A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet.
Why is this? B: It's because your feet aren't empty.
Submitted by Kyle Jefferson Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies? Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from? Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.
On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed. Are you sick? It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing.
Submitted by lisbeth A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B: Ok A: A white horse fell in the mud. Submitted by Robert Kenneth Peter Kroeker - age 21 A nervous old lady on a bus was made even more nervous by the fact that the driver periodically took his arm out of the window.
When she couldn't stand it any longer, she tapped him on the shoulder and whispered on his ear: "Young man I'll tell you when it's raining! But I'm much better noooooooooooow! He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman. He's having a good time.
Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching. He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: "Hey dudes how far is the sea? There is a frog in my soup!!! Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation. One teacher said this to his students before the final test.
Man said to God Why did you make women so beautiful? God said to man So that you will love them. Facebook , Tumblr and other blog websites like WordPress are full of people sharing anecdotes about their lives. Non Sequitur This is an especially fun type of joke because it uses nonsense!
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Some memes use non sequiturs be warned that some memes use crude language! You can find non sequiturs in memes like this one. You can find other memes on Know Your Meme again, watch out for the language.
Parody A parody makes fun of something by copying it in a funny way. Comedian Weird Al Yankovic creates parodies of songs by using the same music but changing the words.
Understanding a parody usually requires knowing the original. Twitter has many parody accounts as well, where people pretend to be fictional or famous people like this fake account of Mark Zuckerberg the creator of Facebook.
People loved her expression so much that they started making images of her making the face in front of really impressive things to be funny. Topical jokes are jokes made during or right after some big event. They can be controversial likely to upset many people , and some use dark humor humor that uses negative or sad commentary.
Late night talk shows use this type of humor to make fun of things like politics and other current events. Prosecutors have actually been after IKEA for years.I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
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He will be six months old next Wednesday. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Student: I don't know.
Rizwana Lahore Pakistan Said to a railroad engineer: